Wow! What amazing holiday festivities, it is December 27th and I still have a tree with presents to be opened, I am learning to put myself first. So much to do :)
This picture means so much to me, It needed a blog trying to describe what it means to me. :)
I love my bed, every night I get into bed, I think of the small act of putting myself first. On my 26th birthday I decided to "treat myself" and buying myself a bed, that was a big moment for me! Acting in faith, I got an amazing bed connection and I can get anyone the greatest deal on beds $4,000 beds for like $600! I am overwhelmed with gratitude for that, I love it. When I see my bed I smile because it symbolizes my sacred place of rest, my sister's kindness with my "Libra Pillow" and my "God Pillow" and of course the fact that I took action towards feeling like I deserve to buy myself something. So my bed, which is my sacred place, is always made, "how are you going to make a million dollars if you can't even make your bed?!" "How you do anything is how you do EVERYTHING." Then my tribute to astrology and to God (by way of pillows) and God always comes first in that. Then a selection of the books I need to read to prepare me for the transition at the first of the year and my 2013 structured book list according to my plan. Then my right leg has a cute reminder that I need to pray. When I see it, I pray and express gratitude for my life, it's awesome! and I am in my undies on my bed notebooking in that picture which makes me smile huge. I have my iPad, my Scriptures, as a man thinketh & volume 2, "Standing for Something" and an audiobook playing on my iPod, you should get a copy of that book "Standing for Something!" It'll change your life! God is heavily involved in this entire notebook session and it was the perfect way to spend my cold December night :)
I feel abundant, I feel so much love and joy and gratitude for my life. I am 27, I am alive, I am healthy, I am LDS, I found it! hahaha! I feel peace throughout every day, that void of lonely and empty feelings was filled with God, I love being LDS, that has been an incredible journey and I don't know who I would be without that. I reflect on my year and what I have to be grateful for and THAT is what stands out to me more than family, more than friends, more than success, material things, it's being LDS... God is so good to me, 3.5 years ago I made a decision to walk a higher path, to strive to be better, to progress and to live extraordinary and to realize my potential I became LDS, I was looking, I was missing something and THAT was it, it took me a year and a half to be open to it, I had a completely warped view on it, but I eventually found it, or it found me I should say. Since then I learned that I am not alone. This year there have been so many amazing lessons I have learned through all of that. If you're not LDS, just disregard anything pertaining to it. I don't want to offend you, but I don't want to censor myself, there are many rivers to one ocean I am just gushing with gratitude for the path I found. :) It really has impacted my year more than anything and everything put together. I wouldn't have made it this year without it.
All of these things that I have learned this year were through people's examples, conversations, books, but all through experiences. Whew, this was a wild and heavy year!
This year, 2012... I learned and truly know in my heart of hearts all these things:
I learned that I am more than enough. I believe that with my whole soul.
I learned how to be vulnerable, that is where Joy and Happiness are found, what makes me vulnerable is what makes me beautiful.
I learned how to receive, I never knew how that worked before and I was awful at that, it's changed my life.
I learned that God truly loves me, is VERY real and that if you ask him anything sincerely, he will answer you EVERY time if you are open to receiving it. That was a hard lesson to learn, hehe I am prideful and stubborn sometimes. :)
I learned that I am NOTHING without God, literally nothing. I am capable of maybe 2% in this life at my best. God brings the other 98% and we call that grace, and through the atonement that's possible.
I learned how to be consistent with just about every aspect of my life.
I learned that I am worthy of the deepest love and I believe that with my whole soul
I learned that I deserve my eternal companion and soul mate, I never believed that before.
I learned how to love deeper than I ever thought I was capable of
I learned to forgive, to truly forgive
I learned how to ask forgiveness. This was so hard!
I learned to be the bigger person. This was also VERY difficult
I learned to let go. 95% of what we worry about never happens, the 5% that does, isn't as bad as we thought it would be and then "Everything happens for a reason."
I learned how to ask God for the lesson he is teaching me through people and situations, patterns and experiences
I learned how to sing without being self conscious.
I learned how to play lead guitar,
I learned to love and be grateful for my insecurities, they make me happy :) I think they make me cute!
I learned to have faith in God's timing
I learned to just be at peace because what is supposed to happen will happen, and where I am supposed to be.. I AM.
I learned to love every part of who I am because of who I am.
I learned God doesn't make mistakes, to not like something/hate something/someone is blasphemous, he created everything perfectly imperfect. Who am I to say I don't like something? I have been given so much! Eyesight alone is more than I could ever ask for and I am blessed to have it, let alone my physical health/
I learned not to settle in any aspect of my life.
I learned faith. To truly believe with my whole soul and to act on it. Faith comes in the action.
I learned a great deal about law and legal proceedings.
and I learned how to communicate my feelings on a much deeper level, for that I am forever grateful.
I feel like 2012 was the prep year for 2013.
This year was one of the hardest years that I have ever had in my life, I am truly grateful for all the struggle that I have faced. I figured out who I am and what I am supposed to be doing for the next 30-40 years. I am excited to move forward on that plan, I just started school and I am learning with voracity what I need to learn to go into the next phase of this life. It's time to stabilize my life and pour gas on the fire. This year looks so promising. I feel like the boy that cried wolf in love. I would love to have love, I am super idealistic, a hopeless romantic that gives a great deal, I have been single for almost 5 years, I haven't found someone that can receive me fully, I have let all of that go, I am no longer looking at all. I haven't the time for that. In these past 6 years I have grown so close to my daughter and we have a dynamic relationship, I am forever grateful to God for putting her in my life. It's like having a daughter, a best friend, a travel buddy, a business partner, a mom, a confidant, she holds me accountable, helps me grow and communicate better, she helps me to respect people on a whole different level and she has taught me more than half of the lessons I have listed above through her example and her advice. I am blessed beyond belief to have her in my life. Who needs a girlfriend when you have so much emotional love and support from your own flesh and blood. I love her :) She is patient with me. Hahahaha! I am super intense sometimes! Hahaha! Watching her trials and challenges in life are beautiful, her mom is awesome! I love seeing the dynamic and perspective that comes with that. I am so blessed to have been married before, I look back on that and I am grateful for the man that my ex wife has helped me to become, she continues to help me grow and I love her so much for that. She is an example to me of so many things. :) Halli's life is richly blessed with perspective to have both parents and the families that accompany that. To think, her mom and I will both remarry some time and she will have 4 different families. That is really cool! What a blessed life that is. I hope I can help her life be harmonious and provide her with support, perspective and stability to be there for her through her trials in her life. She's already so strong and smart and intuitively developed for 8 years old. I will continue to study people with prolific intensity so I can best assist her to grow in this life. That's what it's all for. :)
2013 is the quantum leap year, from an outside perspective it will look like THIS WAS THE YEAR 2013, but this is what 5 years of hard work has led up to, the work is compounding. This is THE year. Maybe God says it's time and I meet my eternal companion and end up married, maybe not. Either way, I will not allow myself to be distracted by that this year. There is too much at stake with these next few months and I don't need to be distracted like that, if it happens, it happens, I won't go looking for it. :) 2013 is all about focus. I get to finish real estate school fast, jump in to it full time, get out of my house and find a place to rent or an investment home to live in while I create my net worth, increase my income streams dramatically, tackle the stock market and diversify. Maybe settle down and get married, start BYU in the fall, go get an education, ultimately leading to an MBA and another income stream. Read at least 24 books, listen to AT LEAST 24 audiobooks, get ridiculously proficient on guitar, singing and rapping, progress at fitness through Crossfit, Gold's Gym, and maybe some yoga, Result... Get so ripped. I will strive to treat everyone that I meet as though I am meeting Christ, I will set a good example for the people around me, I will be the best father, son, brother, uncle, cousin, business partner and friend anyone could ever ask for. I will Love with all of my heart, mind, might, strength and soul all of the time, permeating with gratitude for even the littlest things, being transparent and vulnerable, giving all praise to God for helping me become this man, taking no credit... constantly re-calibrating all while travelling all over the world meeting new people and making lasting memories.
THIS IS THE YEAR...
It has to start somewhere... it has to start some time....
What better place than here... What better time than now...
I have a secret weapon in this life... It's my small and very limited understanding of God's love.
I have a path and a set out structure of things to learn... It's called being LDS
I have a cheat code to this life... It's called Gratitude
I have a blue print to make the year happen... It's called my notebook
I have 3 vehicles to use to accomplish this... They are RevvNRG, Real Estate and BYU.
I have support... They are people that love me because I chose to let them in vulnerably and they see me.
I have a very small and limited understanding of the patterns in front of me and how things work... It has to do with your birthday. :)
I am Kevin Goldberg, I am a son of God... I know who I am, where I am going, and why I am here...
Uhhh!!!
:-D
